Getting Out of Your Own Way.
There are many people out there doing amazing things, even if those people aren't you.
Writing can do wonders for your intelligence, especially with other people.
Imagine it: When you create a story, populated with different people. you have to create those people. People who aren’t you. In acting upon your need, desire, and best efforts to create those people, you learn that your own subconscious mind is a tricky beast. You’ll find a way to sneak your own personal preferences, dislikes, ambitions, or their opposites, straight into your characters. Depending on the direction the story needs to go, a lot of it needs to be edited out.
But by whom, you? That’s like asking the man with dark sunglasses on to turn on the light. They may notice the change, but they still see the world through those super-c0ol, or not-so-cool, lenses.
As it turns out, writing about other people is a skill. By practicing it, you learn so much about your own patterns, and begin to notice the patterns in others as well. This is one of the biggest reasons why I don’t get when people say that ‘fiction writing’ has no value.
If the act of writing a story gives you a better ability to look at the world from beyond your own personal biases, then it’s practically a crash-course in truth-seeking, wisdom, and emotional intelligence. The investment is well worth it.
Given, I’m no expert yet. I hope I can be good one day. So far for me, the only way to really improve is to interact with other people as much as possible, continue to edit out the parts of me that sneak into the characters’ lives, and keep writing stories.
Maybe somewhere between my 4th and 40th story, I’ll reach that self-determined stage where I can look in the mirror and call myself ‘good’ at this skill.
Have you had trouble looking outside of your own viewpoint?
Has a lack of skill in this area negatively impacted your ability to succeed the way you really want to?
Manic Depressive Writer Syndrome
I’ve heard all writers have it, and now I can no longer exclude myself.
It’s not the worst feeling in the world. The destination you have is the same as it was when you were hyper-motivated, but your sense of direction is off. There is nothing so disarming as a dancing compass when you’re trying to get somewhere. So while it does feel bad, and what you feel you must do at the present moment is unclear, it really isn’t that soul crushing.
Trust me, this is coming from someone who thought depression was normal after living with it for almost half my life.
What does a lost writer do? Look for meaning. If you’re Christian, the bible is a good place to start, so I started reading Psalms and found this quote:
I’m hurt and in pain;
Give me space for healing, and mountain air.
It came from Psalm 69 in the Message Bible. Anyway, in a moment of melodrama, I decided to become a hermit and live in the mountains. So I drove a quarter mile to this range of hills and got out of the car. “Today I go into the wilderness” I said to myself in my best Mexican accent.
What I forgot about in my quest for healing and mountain air is that I’m one of the worst hikers on earth. I don’t do it very often, and about halfway up this 800-foot hill I thought, “well, forget this”, in a slightly less Christian word choice. I turned around – the hill was much steeper looking down than it seemed going up. It took forever to get down, probably because of the sliding rocks and the fact that I ignored the ‘avalanche warning’ sign at the foot of the hill. There was no snow on this mountain, but when there’s an avalanche warning, you know the slope is pretty steep.
So yeah, I’m practically the worst Alaskan ever. My journey into the wilderness hadn’t even made it past the first ridge, and a poodle was barking at me from the house at the foot of the mountain. I couldn’t even get away from the fenced-in poodle.
If you’ve ever gone hiking, you’ve probably seen this character archetype: you’re exhausted and halfway up the mountain when you see these baby boomers powering down the hill. These people are in their seventies, really ugly, and can outhike most people in their 20′s. In Hailey Idaho, people are a lot like that, except without the ugly. In this introspective moment, these non-ugly old hikers became role models in my mind.
Still, how did the early trailblazers do this stuff? I can imagine Lewis and Clark trying to get down that hill: in the beginning they are inching their way down with dread and caution in their eyes; one month later, they are sprinting down those slopes like hungry mountain lions charging at an Argentine steakhouse. Sacagawea must have rolled her eyes when she saw those newbie hikers fresh out of the east coast. “I’ll go with these guys because they won’t last half an hour without me. Hopefully they’ll give up before this turns into a long-term committment.” But no, those two young adventurers imagined a future where old, good-looking people can run around in those wilderness hills for recreational purposes, before heading back to their coffee shops in downtown.
So that’s what I did. I got down the mountain and drove to my local coffeeshop, where they gave me a Yerba Maté Latte for free, thanks to a written review I had given them comparing them to Lord of the Rings and Narnia with a shot of espresso and vanilla syrup. Things are already looking up. From there, I sat down and proceeded to just write about whatever.
It just goes to show, when you feel bad, things can still turn around for the better really quickly. So hang in there.
Emotionally Bulletproof Update
What a busy week it has been for my co-author and me.
We have done a lot of traveling in the past few weeks, traveling to Illinois, Los Angeles, Portland, and Seattle. We have done public speeches, book signings, selling to bookstores, and even a television interview, which will be announced here as soon as we know the air date.
The biggest lesson so far: Most people are pretty approachable.
Biggest spiritual lesson: If you follow biblical principles, and the people you do business with follow them as well, the plans you make together are more likely to become a reality.
Future Plans
One of my fellow coaches is working with me to develop a website where people can get to know all of our coaches, learn from them, and even learn to become their own coach!
We should have the site up sometime in May.
Book three should be available on Amazon within a few weeks. It so far has been the most challenging to write out of all of them, and I’m proud of what it is.
V-Day
Calligraphy from the 15th century...brought to you by the letter 'V'!
I know it was the 12th, but I celebrated Valentines day last Saturday night.
Least favorite holiday of the year. Still, I had a good time.
I was visiting the church of a friend, and spent the weekend staying with his family. There were two church services, a park outreach, singing in a nursing home, and a fancy Valentine’s dinner celebration all in one day.
Keep in mind, I rarely make it through one church service, let alone two. When you add several outreach ministries on the back end, anyone can be made to feel stressed by the end of that day. The social atmosphere of church usually wears me down. Hopefully I will have more days like this to push through and increase my social stamina.
Anyway, on to the celebration. There was Italian food, and violins playing concertos. It felt like something out of Pride and Prejudice – the atmosphere can make any man feel like a gentleman. The evening was followed by my friend, his brother, his Pastor father, and me all playing a cover of “Surfin’ U.S.A.”.
Don’t even ask.
The crowd loved it though, and it was a great way to start playing the guitar again after a year of letting the callouses deteriorate from my fingertips. Other acts followed: stand-up comedy, covers of love songs by a talented pianist, and finally, the highlight of the evening, the affirmations.
In one calculated move, the Richardson Texas church took the one thing I disliked about Valentine’s day and made it my favorite part. After this post, you are sure to feel the same.
One by one, people stood up and publicly thanked the individuals who have showed them love at different points in their lives. This was symbolized by a short speech, and an exchange of roses and chocolate.
The usual suspects had their time in the spotlight. The happily married couples, significant others, and boyfriends/girlfriends had plenty of opportunities to make single people feel jealous, and painfully aware of their own lack of relationship. The expressions of love exchanged on that night lightened the atmosphere and gave me great appreciation for the group of people gathered there.
Brothers and sisters, guitarists and soundmen, mothers and sons, and friends of one another all had their chance to show how much love and respect they had for their close friendships.
The affirmations took a long time to wrap up, and we left the church after 10:30 p.m.
Even though we stayed at ‘church’ from 8:30 a.m. to 10:30 p.m., I went to bed feeling less worn out than I normally do after three hours of traditional church worship services.
Valentines day is a great day to be alive.
Scott’s Story on Kindle, and other updates
There are several things I am excited to announce:
KINDLE!
Emotionally Bulletproof Scott’s Story is now available on kindle. If you have an iPhone, iPad, laptop computer, or a kindle e-reading device, you can use the kindle applications to download the complete story and read it anywhere, without carrying a book at all.
What excites me most is that people in the UK, Canada, and any other countries Amazon ships to will be able to learn simple principles for building trust with the people in their lives. There are no shipping hassles, an affordable price, and the opportunity to read the next two books in the series when they come out.
Brian Shaul
My coauthor is becoming a pioneer in the area of coaching. He not only developed the ideas for the book series, but also has a blog about becoming your own coach. This is useful whether you have a coach and want to get more out of the relationship, or if you feel like experimenting with sound, biblical principles on your own.
Emotionally Bulletproof is how he plans on changing the world for the better, and it’s definitely worth a look. I would even recommend subscribing to see how it progresses.
EBP Travel
The greatest thing about being an author, other than writing, is meeting well-intentioned people seeking health, wealth, and healing.
I will be traveling down to Texas, which is my home base, then traveling up through to Idaho, where I will begin working to make the Northwest United States familiar with EBP and biblical principles. I have been holding back my excitement for weeks about this.
Gain 20+ Years of Wisdom Instantly
honest abe by bluepoetie
Feedback is results that can be seen, measured, and acted upon. This can come from 2 different places:
- Your own personal experiences.
- Other people’s advice and mentorship.
Life is too short to make all the mistakes on your own. If you want to achieve big goals that are beyond your current level of achievement, you are going to need the guidance of other people. This will allow you to apply your efforts to the activities that you know will work, making you appear much wiser.
This may seem crystal clear to most people, but do YOU actually do it? If you have so far, then you’re a step ahead of me. If you don’t keep doing it, you won’t be ahead for long.
Not that it’s a race, but I’ve learned that the biggest thing that I can do this year to gain the most success in the least amount of time is this: Seek out advice from people who have already done what I want to do.
Seek out several sources. You can keep it to simple tweets to the people in question, a ¼ page email, or an in-person interview over coffee and lunch. It doesn’t have to be hard.
Don’t put all your eggs in one basket either. If one person doesn’t respond, have several other people ready to respond to you.
For example, several places I would like some help are:
- scheduling radio interviews
- learning how to network better
- learning how to sell to booksellers
- learning how to get started in public speaking with no previous background
These are just a few. In any of these cases I will look for people who have succeeded in these areas in the last 3-5 years, as well as people who have been doing these activities for decades.
If you want to take action on a simple thinking exercise, make it this one: What are you wanting to learn how to do? What are you struggling with? What obstacle are you afraid of facing? Finally, who can you talk to for answers (people you know personally or who you know of online)? Strangers? Is anyone in your network already who may know the types of people you’re looking for?
Painless Leadership – Four Lessons I Wish I Had Sooner
Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression.
Dr. Haim Ginott – Child Psychologist and Author of Between Parent and Child
Formation: Teacher and Kids by cobrasoft
My first leadership role came as a homeschool teacher to two children. Ironic, as I practice abstinence, a measure that I hope reduce the chances of having children later in life.
I’m glad I did the teaching, however. The experience has given me many good things, among them patience, negotiating skills, and I have even been told that I am a relatable person. If that made me relatable, what was I before?
An answer to that question can be found by looking at my now refined leadership abilities. The good news is that I have leadership abilities. The bad news: I’m no Winston Churchill.
There are four things I have learned that you must know before stepping into a leadership role, which apply to business and parenting. Teachers have the same issues and can benefit from these as well.
So listen up:
1. The people we lead are entrusting themselves to us. The responsibility is greater if you are a Christian, because then God is also entrusting them to you.
2. All the things you got away with doing as a child are about to bite you back. The presence or appearance of any character flaws and negative mindsets will be amplified and reflected back at you. Slacked off at work? So will they. Acted like a jerk to authority figures? Guess who’s the authority now!
Come on, be happy. Isn’t this what you wanted? If not, you have two options:
- Abandon your post as fast as you can
- Work with friends, a lifecoach, a parent, or anyone else you trust so you can change your mindsets, acquire new habits, and communicate that change to the people you lead.
3. Understand what is expected of you. The consequences of not doing so are a life of hard work, a bad leadership experience, and as a bonus, you get to make the person who made you a leader look like a real idiot. I don’t want that and neither do you.
Once you understand what is expected of you, turn that into a vision for the future that you can explain to those you lead without lecturing. If you are teaching someone to read, tell them that reading gives them the freedom to learn anything THEY want to learn.
4. Know how much you are willing to negotiate, and what tactics you will use if the people you lead do not follow well.
If the people you are leading are better at negotiating than you are, then you will not get the results you are looking for. This is bad, especially if you cannot fire them. If this becomes your situation, learn how to say no and back it up with consequences. If you don’t do this, the consequences for you result in bad performance, no matter how many people you hire and fire.
Companies have systems for dealing with people who negatively impact their coworkers and profit margins. Employment contracts, first and second warnings, suspension, and termination sound familiar to most of us. When your system is tested, enforce it, or else nobody will respect the value of your time, your words, or the vision you have for the future.
Are there any lessons you have learned from teaching or leading others?
Plan B?
Plan B (to do it or not)
So what do you do if it doesn’t work out?
When you have stated an ambitious goal to someone who is well-meaning, but intimidated by your commitment, you may have heard this question.
The experts on success seem at odds with the concept of Plan B. In some books I’ve read, Plan B distracts from Plan A. Others still are strong supporters of multiple plans.
Since it is a new year and you have thought of the goals you want to achieve for the next 365 days, it’s worth taking a look at Plan B
Let’s straighten this out.
Traditional View of Plan B:
Plan A for John Doe is to get into film as an actor in Hollywood, yet culinary school is a great Plan B in case that doesn’t work out.
From this perspective, Plan B may yet detract energy that could be put into achieving Plan A.
When Plan B comes up in a debate, it creates a battle between the risk averse who see large mountains to overcome, and the risk takers who will climb those mountains with or without the supplies they might need.
Plan B redefined:
John Doe IS going to get into film as an actor in Hollywood. Plan A is to show up at auditions, enlist the help of agents and build a healthy portfolio. Plan B is to do commercials and network with independent film producers to build a fanbase and generate enough buzz to get consideration for those roles on the silver screen.
What is the difference between the first Plan B and the second Plan B?
The first Plan B detracts energy from your mind that you could use to further Plan A.
The second Plan B doesn’t compromise your life goals. Plan B 2.0 causes you to think of multiple roads to get to the same destination, all of which would move you closer to the result you want. With this type of plan B, you don’t put your emotional eggs in one basket. Your plans weave together to form a tight cord that connects you to your goals.
Best of all, the knowledge that you’ve got several ways to make it will give you more confidence to succeed in Plan A, and all worthwhile commitments benefit from confidence.
With this thought in mind, having a plan C, D, and E, even if you never use most of them, will make your mind sharper, give you better confidence, and enable you to move forward with your ideas.
The Founding of Emotionally Bulletproof – My Beginning
Initiated Into a New World
Almost a year ago, I reached up and grabbed a cluster of grapes from my own vineyard. Owning a farm was never something that I had considered, but through a chain of circumstances, my co-author and I found ourselves in Argentina preparing to write.
One question stayed in my mind: Why would I throw away the last 6 months of blogging about the music industry and abandon pursuit of a degree from Belmont University in Music Business?
From the time I was 14, I was interested in the music industry, but I found myself in a very changing world, and after losing both my mother and father within a few short months, I realized there was more to life than becoming ridiculously wealthy and achieving rock star fame.
I also realized that the music industry was changing fast, and the reality of the ubiquitous rock star looked more like a passing phase in history, a train that left the station several years before I arrived.
As I looked at the future, understanding business from an entrepreneurial perspective became my new quest. I put my guitar in storage, along with my car, desktop computer, and the death certificates of both my parents, and embarked on an adventure. This adventure would lead me to bringing many people the same opportunity that I had been given when I met a mentor and coach who taught me about trust and relationships.
A New Mission
I dedicated my writing career to bringing people from a place of obscurity, where their ingenious ideas would have little value, to a place of recognition, where they can lead and change our culture. I made the decision to help people create and promote their ideas, to bring those people to international success.
After publishing one book and writing two more, I found myself back in Alaska with my co-author trying to help him promote the ideas that had changed my life.
Brian Shaul and Emotionally Bulletproof
No journey worth taking is easy. Brian Shaul had labored in obscurity for over 16 years, working with individuals and teaching them three main principles for emotional health. In over 10,000 hours of one-on-one coaching, Brian had learned that trust is the foundation of all relationships, and that relationships are the foundation for emotional health.
As I have worked with Brian to help him promote these ideas, I have become aware of the patterns of thinking that we all develop. The emotionally bulletproof system (EBP) helps you understand the healthy thought patterns that will help you be successful, as well as eliminate the negative thought patterns responsible for unhealthy reactions and unstable emotions. I am proud of the books and what they have become to the growing number of readers who study the principles inside them.
Accomplish Your Mission
As Brian becomes more and more successful as an author and a public speaker, I will use his success as a case study to help you achieve your own goals and aspirations, as well as provide insights from both the creative world and the business world to take your work to the next level.
I will share the best of my experiences and the results of the challenges I take on through this blog. You are welcome to follow along to hear the adventures (and misadventures), as well as share what has worked for you on accomplishing your mission.
It is a great time to be alive.
